Lost Girl

i havent blogged in a while but i just got a tablet so i think i am going to start up again. i really enjoy it.

i got injured and havent run in a long time. it makes me really sad. actually more than that it really fucks with my head. i wasnt true to myself. i started out training for 8 miles when i was injured. and it just was such a shitty session. i did it because i wanted to keep up with everyone. but i was hurt so i couldnt anyways. running has been so important to me and i feel like i have lost it.

i started in the new program doing tiny intervals. and i hate it. i hate walking. it feels like a waste of time. i need to get to the gym and i cant.

i had gained 10 pounds and got up to 177. i started a low carb diet 3 weeks ago and am down to 169. it just seems sooooo slow. i havent been exercising and have not been actually counting carbs just eating low carb. i dont know. i feel soooo lost.

i dont like eating this way. doesnt make me feel good. i feel good on paleo. that is not low carb. but the scary thing about paleo is that it really isnt a weight loss plan. it's a healthy eating plan and i dont want to count anything or weigh anything. i did well on weight watchers but it has too much wiggle room for right now.

i wonder if i should do paleo with fat smash restrictions?  only 2 servings of dairy a day. no fake sugar. that's basically phase 2 of fat smash. i want to find a diet that tells me to eat meat, fruits, non starchy vegetables and dairy. but i think i need to limit my fruit and my dairy. ugh. this is all so much. why cant there be a super simple plan out there?

i need to get back to exercising because it makes me feel alive. i am supposed to meet a friend at the gym tomorrow morning and i really better go. it's just hard because when i run, it doesnt feel like exercise. i just talk and listen and hang out with a friend. so it felt like 2 birds with one stone. and it made me feel sooooo good.

i have another 10 days of this low carb thing and then i need to change to something else. i hope i can be at my goal of 167 by then!!